• Monday:
  • Bike – 60min easy peasy on trainer
  • Yoga – 60min
• Tuesday: Swim – 60min, 2600m
• Wednesday: Rest!
• Thursday: Swim – 70min, 3100m
• Friday: Brick – Stationary Trainer Track intervals: 62min, WU, 4X(5min trainer, 800m run), CD
• Saturday
  • Bike – Eas
  • Run – 30min easy
• Sunday – Bike – 2hr 52min, 57mi @ 19.6mph

Totals:

• Time: 9hr 34min
• Bike: 4hr 52min, 90mi
• Run: 30min, 3.6mi
• Swim: 2hr 10min, 5700m
• Brick: 1hr 2 min
• Strength: 1hr

ps. I’m racing again this weekend (but feeling another illness coming on…yes, i had a 102 degree fever when I was supposed to be racing that race I mentioned in the last post).  and I’m planning on an upcoming recap of my last two races too.

The year following, I still did not recover or improve like I should have.  I was sure I was just old and chubs and never going to be fast again.  My 1:39 half marathons became a struggle at 1:50+.  Training 6 hrs per week felt like the 18+hr wks I had during Ironman training. After a year of tests and trial and error treatment, my doctor finally figured out that there were endocrine issues (poor regulation of both cortisol and thyroid hormones) that were effecting my energy levels and it most likely tracked back to pituitary damage from my crash and concussion.  I had been struggling against Post Consussion Syndrome with pituitary damage for over a year. Now on thyroid meds for the last 10 mos, I’m FINALLY feeling like myself again.

I’m now finally able to race again.  I have a *surprise* PR under my belt when I ran the hilly hilly Augusta half marathon in 1:39:16, which shockingly came after almost non-existent training this winter.  And an age-group win at my first tri of the season (which was also my first brick of the year).  So now I’m feeling good and getting a smidge of confidence back, a resource that was a rarity over the last two years.

So, back in health, are there any lingering reminders of my post concussion syndrome?  Yes,  I struggle with getting back to racing weight…I’m hovering about 12-15 lbs above my pre-ironman weight.  And there is a constant fear in the back of my head that tells me that this won’t last.  That it’s just a fluke and I will soon be struggling to improve again.  Actually, any time I start to drag a little, I have a minor panic attack.  True story.  But, both of those things can be worked on.

That means only one (ok, two) quesitons remain:  What’s next?  And…well…what’s next?

What’s next on the racing front and what are my goals for the year?

• Three 70.3 distance events: Eagleman (June), Augusta (Sept), B2B (Oct)
• Competing in as many sprint tris as possible…holy heck, in my race to the ironman distance, I lost sight of where all the fun is: going fast and hard.  In fact, I will be racing sprints four weekends in a row, starting Saturday.
• Winning my AG in the Set Up Events SC Tri Series (currently in second…being beaten only by a girl who has competed in more events than my one.)
• Requalifying for Boston at Philly in November, hopefully with a sub 3:30/3:25 time.

What’s up next to keep my health in check?

• Reducing, if not eliminating, soy in my diet.
• More yoga, less alcohol.
• Get back to racing weight
• Have fun.  Love my puppies. Be happy.

This weekend we take to the pond/streets with a home court advantage (a rare thing in Disgusta, because there are only 4 area tris).  Goals: Top 3 women, if not top.  And averaging sub 7min/mi on the run.

Do you like the face as I finished?  I’m all “what the f just happened?”

I’ll take a surprise PR ANY day.

More to come later, but just FYI…I’m back bitches.

First podium of the year: Check

First race with the love of my life: Yup

Saturday morning, I geared up for the most anticipated race of the year (yep, most anticipated race is over and done with in January).  Ironmen are boring.  Marathons suck.  And duathlons, just too much running.  So what was I getting ready for? Brennan’s very first race.  Much like his mother’s, his training has been spotty the last few months.  But unlike his mother, he has an intensely high pain threshold and a natural tenacity, necessary to survive being chained to a tree for the first 8 mos. of your life and getting dumped on the side of a rural road with ears full of ticks.

I had been waiting for this race since its creation and first running last year (I missed it). Brennan and I have been talking about it.  Dreaming about it: Augusta’s Doggone Cold 5K to benefit the Hopeful Hounds Rescue.

So Saturday we woke up to mud and rain.  And 2 miles of the race were on a dirt road.  And I knew they would be a mud pit.  But I went out with the Bubs, so excited to be spending my Saturday doing something I love with someone I love (this must be what normal humans feel when racing with significant others…it’s a shame I’m not normal).  Before the gun went off, I was already soaked and knew that I (by myself) could run a sub 22min 5K.  But I had no idea what what Brennan could do.  So, I let him dictate the pace.  The gun went off…and so did we.

Mile 1: sub 7min…easy peasy, happy puppy.

Mile 2: pooping and puppy is getting tired, he forces a brief walk break (I welcome it).

Mile 3: we pick it back up and run on into the finish, passing all the people that passed us in mile 2.

You know all those sad maudlin posts I’ve been posting?  Well, this ain’t one of ‘em folks…because let me tell you, this was the most fun and happiest I’ve been in a year.  Even now, days later, my soul smiles thinking about how much fun I had.  I guess it really is amazing getting to enjoy a happy fun day with the one you love.  It’s a shame dogs aren’t allowed in a lot of other places. I have a feeling that I would be a lot happier if Brennan was omnipresent in my day to day dealings.

Lessons learned about running with pups? Have no real plans; you are not in control of this race.  Make sure the pup poops before the race.  Keep close to another dog ahead…it will encourage the desire to sniff that dog’s butt, thus increasing your dog’s speed.

Stats (ok, 5K race reports are weirdly hard to write…):

• Time: 22:53
• Splits: 6:55/7:55 (pooping)/7:14/?
• B’s placing: 2nd dog w/ female, 4th OA dog
• My placing: 6/201 females, 2nd AG

Upcoming (for me)…A return to Miami, the Miami half marathon, and Leanne! YAY!

Next up for Brenny: Atlanta Dog Jog 2-miler in May.

Actually, time is not flying…in fact, on Saturday night when I skyped with my parents and I realized that it was only two weeks into the year,I started crying.  I really did…actually started crying.  This may be a sign of me being emotionally unhinged.  Or it may be a sign of how bad the year has been so far…and what it looks like ahead (oh, did I tell you I have specially set murder trials for the next three months?).

When I made the move here and upended my life in 2009, I had literally never been happier.  Over the last year that’s shifted some (a lot).  It started shifting with my health problems and declining athletic performance in the end of 2010, and rapidly plummeted with increased job stress (see e.g. and e.g.).  And I’m realizing that I need to figure out a way to get out out of this burned out funk.

It is pretty clear that I’m not happy with my life right now; but what is unfortunately not clear, is how to make myself happy.

So, I have some simple goals for the year ahead:

1. Get back my peace and happiness…which really requires figuring out what I want in my life and then going after it.
2. Figure out who I want to be…and become it.
3. Blog more…if I want to and if it helps.

Ok, they are super lofty goals.  And  really amorphous.  And, really go against all the goal setting rules.  But, I need a change.  But, I’m not sure what the change needs to be yet–just that a change is needed.  So, I guess this year is about figuring me and my life out.

Game on.

So, with those goals in mind, and trying not to overload myself with too much and too many different types of goals, I’ve made (what I think is) a pretty darn well planned 2012 racing schedge.  Nothing more longer than 13.1 or 70.3 and nothing too jammed together (and the fall to be filled out with some B/C races)

• 01/22/12: Dog Gone Cold 5K (C) (goal: top 3 OA dogs)
• 01/29/12: Miami Half Marathon (B) (goal: sub 1:48ish)
• 02/18/12: Tundra Time Trial (C)
• 03/03/12: Snickers Half Marathon (A Race) (r)(goal: sub 1:40)
• 04/22/12: Zooma Atlanta Half Marathon (C)
• 04/28/12: Twilight Criterium (C) (goal: not crash and die)
• 05/20/12: Atlanta Irongirl Tri (B)
• 06/10/12: Eagleman Aquavelo (A Race) (r) (goal: sub 2:40 bike)
• 07/21/12: Mistletoe Sprint Tri
• 09/30/12: Augusta 70.3 (A Race) (goal: 5:00, 2:30 bike)
• 11/18/12: Philadelphia Half Marathon (A Race) (goal: sub 1:37)
• 12/??/12: Celtic Solstice 5-miler (A race) (goal: sub 36min)

Oh and the beyond part…2013, a return to the IM…IMFL

So, last time I posted about running (or really posted in general), it was the eve of the Augusta Half Ironman and I was sick.  Since then, I’ve had two DNFs, two DNSs, and two horrible showings.  Le sigh.  The worst thing to do would be for me to pretend it didn’t happen and just move on.  To do that would be to risk having it all happen again because I wouldn’t figure out what went wrong.

After much analysis by me and my coach and my friends, we’ve determined the following to be the sources of error in my training and racing:

1. The continuing treatment reevaluation of endocrine problems and my failure to get fully back to 100%
2. Trying to do too much too close together.  Not every race can be an A race and it’s hard when your two A races are close together and completely different (i.e. marathon and HIM).  It makes it difficult to train in a specialized manner.
3. Not putting in all of the work (I got a “promotion” in April and it was hard at first to juggle work and training….and then I was just so not used to training hard)
4. My head.  As all these “failures” continue to add up, I just get more insecure and unsure of myself and then it is even more likely that I will give up midrace when the going gets tough.

Hopefully, this means that I can move on and have a better 2012.

And finally a brief 2011 recap:

• Marathons run: 2
• Half-Marathons run: 2
• Ultramarathons started: 1
• Ultramarathons finished: 0
• Triathlons finished: 0 (what?! seriously)
• Personal Bests: 0
• Personal Worsts: 2
• Best Placement: 3OA female, Mistletoe Duathlon
• Number of races I was happy with: 1/3 (supremely happy with the bike portion of Augusta HIM)
• DNFs: 3
• DNSs: 4

Such a successful year…right?

Thanksgiving came and went and I was thankful.  Typically I would be all “Yadda, yadda, insert obligatory snarky sentence about the things I’m thankful for (dog, coffee, wine…).” Because, honestly, I’m not a sappy person…unless I’ve been drinking. But truly, the last three years while living in Augusta, I’ve been the most thankful for a wonderful family who took me in as a stray member.  I wish I were good at describing what it feels like to be included by this family, but the words escape me.  They have been the most supportive, loving, and accepting group of people that I could ever imagine (see e.g.). And every Thursday night, they have people over for dinner for “Thursday Night Dinner.”  Stray single people and their dogs come from all over (Okay, really there are only two strays that bring their dogs. Yes, I’m one of them) and are accepted into their house for what can only be described as a very loving family dinner.  I’ve made some wonderful friends that I love dearly through these dinners.  And it cannot be left out that we eat the best food ever.  (No, seriously, best. food. ever. Fresh bread, produce straight from picking…)

Yes, I often speak in hyperbole.  That’s just me.  Everything is SO DRAMATIC.  But when I say that these wonderful people saved my life in Augusta, I actually mean it wholeheartedly and without exaggeration.  I was terrified to move here and I am now very sad and scared to leave.  Thursday night dinner is my favorite part of the week.  It’s my favorite time and my favorite experience since I’ve moved here to Augusta.  I actually can’t quite accept that if I leave this job and town, which may happen before next Thanksgiving, I will be leaving them too.  So this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all of them, from the bottom of my heart, for making me feel more loved than I ever deemed possible.

End sappiness.  On to food.  Now that the weather is finally turning here in Augusta, I’m seeking out warm and belly-filling foods.  And fortunately, it just so happens that a dish from a few Thursday Night Dinners (or as I will now call them: TNDs) ago just about hits that spot.  Always.

ParmPolenta and Greens

• 1 tbps Olive Oil
• 2 White Onions, chopped
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• 3-4 small bunches of Greens, chopped
• 1 c. Polenta (or corn meal)
• 1 c. Milk
• Grated Parmesan
• 2 tbps Butter
• Salt to taste

1. In a pan over medium high heat, sauté onions and garlic until soft.
2. Add greens, sautéing until wilted and salt to taste.  Set aside.
3. In a medium saucepan, warm milk and butter.  Stir in polenta.  Continue stirring and adjusting polenta/milk ratio as needed until the polenta begins to slightly thicken (but not too thick) and soften, about 15-20 minutes.
4. Begin to stir in the greens and add parmesan cheese, stir until cheese and greens are full incorporated.
5. Eat!  No, seriously.  Eat.  You. Wont. Be. Able. To. Stop.

Now tell me, what good stick to your belly foods do you like when it starts getting cold?

• Running sick into a bonk at GA ING Marathon (look at the pics at the end where it looks like I was punched in the eyes from being sick)
• A swealtery, pukey DNF at Eagleman 70.3,
• An undiagnosed-endocrine-problem-laden miserable race at IM Wisconsin.

Needless to say, I’d had a bad year.  I was starting to think the racing gods hated me.  So I backed off.

I was tired of shitty races.  I needed a break, and a break I had.  I haven’t really raced since the Ironman last year (save a little 26.2 jog through Boston in April) and have been gearing up for my poorly planned fall of races:

• 9/25 Augusta 70.3
• 10/2 Twin Cities Marathon
• 10/15 NF Endurance Challenge 50K
• 11/4 Savannah RnR 13.1
• 11/24 Atlanta Half Marathon
• 11/26 Zooma Atlanta Half Marathon

Yep, I planned 6 long races in the span of 8 weeks.  Not my best planning, but I was excited to hop on the fun race train again.  I mean, my racing had to be an improvement on last year?  Right? Right.

But anyway, I was feeling good about my 70.3.  I was feeling strong and ready.  And I felt a little throat scratchy yesterday.  And then this morning, I woke up ear-achey, throat-hurty, head-throbby, woozy, exhausty, fevery, miserable.

WTF.

Dear racing gods, what have I done to piss you off?  Why do you hate me so?

Anyway, I’ve spent the day in bed, sucking down water, gatorade, vitamin C, and tylenol.  I’m going to race tomorrow because I already ate the race entry fee for Eagleman 70.3 in June due to my continuing burnout and endocrine problems.  And gosh darnnit, I’m not eating another $270+ race entry fee that could have instead been spent on puppies and vacations and books.

Coach says if I have a fever tomorrow, no racing.

I say, what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.

Seriously, has anyone else gotten sick right before a big race?  With all these horrible races, I’m starting to have a crisis of faith…maybe it’s not worth it.  Maybe I should just give up forever like I almost did after Ironman Wisconsin.  Has anyone been here before?  If so, how do I fix it?  Help!

Ok, to bed.

ps. totally don’t judge me if it is a horrible race for me.  I promise I’m not as slow as I’ve been the last year…or am I?

Needless to say I’ve had a little rough racing season.

I stood up my training partner and he leaves this. Best. Training. Partner. Ever.

I’ve named my friend Max. And he’s still out there on my sidewalk to remember to smile every day when I leave for work. Usually I forget soon after I arrive at work. But still, at least a few smiles in the day!