Being the weirdo that I am, I thought, what better way to spend your 26th birthday than running 26.2 mi?  So…there I went to Chicago for the Chicago Marathon as a birthday celebration (the day before my birthday to be exact, but close enough).

I had thought that I was going to be in a mandatory training for work until Saturday morning, so I booked my flight out of ATL into MDW for late Saturday afternoon arriving at 7ish.  I would have to miss the expo and rush to eat dinner and get checked in and get to bed, but I would make it.  It was less than ideal, but I made the flight arrangements when I had just the new job, so I was anxious to make them happy (still go to the training) and make myself happy (still make Chicago work).  Turns out I didn’t get accepted into the training (wtf?  It was already full…) so I could have flown out early on Saturday anyway.  So I came over to ATL from Augusta early on Saturday hoping to hop on an earlier flight and go to the expo with Kell; unfortunately my 5pm flight was the earliest one Airtran had…so, I sat in the airport for about 4 hours and missed the expo.

Flight was fine, got into Chicago at 6:30, took the el to downtown and met Kell at the closest stop to our hotel.  Thankfully, she was able to pick up my packet at the expo and check into the hotel and scope out dinner places and everything.  But, also the poor girl was left to go to the expo alone and hang out in Chicago by herself for 5 hours…(sorry Kell!)  We had dinner at a gastropub.  Got a couple safe appetizers and shared a large bowl of spaghetti…I had some wine and she had some beer.

We got back to the hotel and Mags got in (who wasn’t running, but as a 2:52 marathoner, is far more knowledgeable about prerace routines than we were).  She basically went over everything with us—from race strategy (like, crap, how fast do I go out?) to what to wear (even though I managed to pelt a guy in the face with my hat and gloves as I threw them to the side of the road).  We laid out our race outfits, made sure we had bagels, PB and bananas for the morning and then relaxed some.  It had been since 2006 since we’d all three been together (I saw Mags and Kell both in 2008 separately), so we reminisced and laughed like crazy people and went to bed.

Kelly and I woke up at 5am to start getting ready.  Got dressed, I had half a bagel with some PB but really wasn’t hungry.  I had to spend some time figuring out how to stash 5 gels on me since I didn’t bring a fuel belt, and I ended up stuffing two down my bra (which actually turned out to be a great idea).  We put on our throw away warm clothes (including a pair of XS sweatpants that were the best highwaters ever) and headed out the door.  Maggie wished us luck and got to go back to bed for a little bit before going to watch us on the race course.

We picked a great hotel on E. Whacker…just over a half mile from the start.  So we walked to Grant Park and it was crazy how many people were out walking to the marathon.  Sureal, really—to be out at 6am on a Saturday morning and the Chicago streets are full.  And, it was cold.  Really cold.  30s…which is ok…except, it’s not so fun waiting from 6:00am til the start at 7:30 in the freezing.  We made our way to the port-a-potties for a pre-race poo and then separated.  Kell had a seeded entry since she had run a marathon before and I was in the open corral.

I got into the corral with the 8-minute milers.  It was the fastest pace group they had.  I had finally made the decision to race the race and not use it as a training run for Philly.  The plan was: find the 3:50 pace group, start off with them and then see how it feels.  If it’s too hard, back off, and use the race as a test drive.  If it feels good, push ahead and run negative splits to see if I could hit 3:40 and qualify for Boston.  Well, the fastest pace group they had in the open corral was a 4:00 marathon.  So, I figured, I would just have to do this on my own.  I got myself mentally prepared for that and just wanted to relax into an 8:45min/mile pace over the first 5K and get my legs warmed up (which turned out to be an issue because I don’t think it ever got above 40 while I was out on the race course).  At 7:30 when the elites started, I stripped off my over-clothes and threw them to the side to reveal my fantastically pink spandex.

Dot dot dot. to be continued.

So since the half ironman, I’ve been thinking a lot about my race category, because in triathlons there are weight categories (athena category for heavier girls: 150+lbs) and then everybody else (racing by age group).  of course, AG racing is way more competitive than Athena, so theoretically, to be able to place in your AG is way better than winning Athena.  BUT, here’s my dilemma: technically I’m athena (yea, yea, I know, everyone says they don’t realize I am an athena…)…and had I raced the HIM in the athena category, I would have won that division by over 20 minutes.

ok, so since i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the whole AG v. Athena thing, i’ve how much things have changed over the past 3 or 4 years.  I’m wanting to lose 10 – 15 lbs (which would take me to 140-145), so I joined one of the weight loss groups on on the triathlon social networking site that i love am obsessed with…and this was my introductory post:

pennylope – 2009-10-02 5:47 PM I know i’m a day late for the start…but can I still join in?  First off, I’d like to say that I am in awe of all of you with children and spouses and still being able to train and everything!!! I have me, myself, and i (and two fur children) and I find it hard sometimes…

Ok, so a bit of my backround story…as a teenager I was a distance runner and fell in to the trap that many type A female distance runners do…the obsessive weight loss and being underweight (I am 5′10″ and weighed about 105 at HS graduation)…went off to college, decided not to run so that I could get to a healthy weight…but started rowing, became a lightweight rower…and the same old obsessive weight loss and exercise happened.  then, i yo-yoed the other way, went from 105 to 190 (still exercised a lot, but ate more than is imagineable) then back down to 120…then back up…etc…it was the vicious battle of restricting and then bingeing over and over and over.  obsessive calorie counting and obsessive exercise ruled me from the time i was 15 until about 23. it’s surprising that i was able to get through school because, i swear, food and exercise was ALL i thought about.

Now, 5 years later, I’ve settled at 155ish.  And, I’m finally ok with food for the most part.  And even more spectacularly, I’m no longer at war with my body (no more looking at pictures or in the mirror and being disgusted)…I’m even happy with my body.  and the wonderfulness of my day isn’t determined by a number on the scale or how much i can exercise or how little i can eat. But, I’d really like to lose about 10 to 15lbs (taking me to 140-145lbs), which would still keep me in the healthy range but would hopefully help me pick my running speed back up (I’m far slower than I was in college and high school).

ok…for the facts:
start: 155
goal: 140

and, it’s truly amazing to think that despite the fact that I’d like to lose some weight and get faster, I no longer have a running calorie tally in my head at all points during the day and if i miss a day of calorie burning, i no longer freak out. it’s actually pretty amazing.  i guess, in the grand scheme of things, the ten lbs i’d like to lose are nothing compared to having my life back.  and, it’s ok, i guess, that i’m a little (ok, a lot) slower than I was when I was 110lbs, because i am no longer miserable obsessing about what i can or can’t or should or shouldn’t eat…i’m at peace with my body.  and any thoughts i have about changing my eating patterns are to just make myself healthier or more energetic or to feel better.

if you had asked me 3 years ago if i would be at peace with my imperfect body, i would have thought you were crazy…but i am.  i’m at peace.

when that dawned on me, i decided to change my blog focus.  “Pen at Peace.”

anyway.  that’s it.