becoming a happy adult in a sunny sustainable world.
(yes, the title is a Village People reference. Don’t judge.)
I hadn’t decided which of my formspring questions to answer next…and then I went to work on Friday. And I got my answer.
I had strolled down to the little convenience store in the courthouse to buy a gatorade. And I don’t remember how this conversation started, but somehow it came up that the cashier used to run track. And, like I always do when someone says they were a runner, I ask what events she ran.
Her: Oh, I was a hurdler and sprinter.
Me: Me too! Well, I moved up to middle distance by my senior year.
Her: Yea, I hated running anything more than a 200m.
Me: Yea, I hated running anything longer than a half-mile in high school. I never would have thought that I would end up being a marathoner.
Her: Wow, I would NEVER look at you and think you ran a lot of miles. You just don’t look like…
Me: *nervous awkward chuckle*
And, I leave, and turn to the coworker who was in there with me, and we both react “what the f does that mean?” I of course take it to mean that I’m too fat/large/oafish to run marathons.
Ok, so that brings me to the formspring question I want to answer… You seem so comfortable with your body! Have you ever struggled with weight/body image problems?
I received a bunch of variations on this question. Which, honestly, surprised me. Because confidence in and comfort with my body has never been something that was my strong suit. So, the short answer? YES. YES YES. I have and still struggle with body image and weight issues.
I grew a whole lot during 8th and 9th grade, going from 5’5″ to 5’10″. My senior year of high school, I started really wanting to be “small.” I hated being tall. Because it was different and non girly. And I was taller than most of the boys. And if I couldn’t be petite, I would be small gosh darnit. And then I lost about 25 lbs from an already thin frame. I looked like a skeletor. It was not my most attractive time (my fastest running, but most unattractive). And, it left me with the scars of an eating disorder for many years. I ballooned up in college, gaining many times the freshman 15. I was clearly at war with food. I hated my body. I hated food. It occupied WAY too much of my mind during my college years. I worked out like crazy. And always knew an exact calorie count at any point in the day.
I’d love to say that a switch just flipped and I got “ok.” But, clearly, that’s not what happened. A lot of work was put into being ok. But, for many years it was a daily battle. As I grew up into an adult, it started to fade away. I started just eating when I was hungry; I slowly stopped having a running calorie count in my head for each day; and I started excersing because I loved it. And after about 5 years, I just started to be ok. I now can generally consume food without feeling guilty. I recognize the benefit and role of good food. And thoughts of hating my body do not consume my day. Once I stopped being anxious about my body and food, my body found a happy weight. I’m not super skinny. And I’m probably not at my fastest race weight. But, I am at a good healthy weight that I can maintain without obsession (which, for a person with an obsessive and addictive personality, is an important factor).
When I miserably loathed my body, it was oft a topic of my discussion. And, I was a bore in conversations because NO ONE wants to hear about me complain about my perfectly functional healthy body. So, I just stopped talking about it. Which is probably why you all came away with the impression that I am comfortable with my body. And I guess I am. Mostly. I have my days. And the lovely Ariela listens to me bitch and moan. I’ll complain about being (now) 5’11″ and taller than the average man. And being strong and not little and cute and petite. But mostly, I don’t spend too much time thinking about my body one way or the other anymore.
Do I love my body? Meh…it has its perks and it’s flaws. But, I’ve gotten to the point where I realize there are way too many wonderful things in my life to spend time worrying about my plump rear. Would I like to lose a little body fat and gain some muscle? Sure. Will that likely happen as a result of my Ironman training…I’m also sure…But this body that I used to treat so poorly has done a lot of wonderful things over the year that I and it should both be proud of. A two time marathoner. A half-ironwoman.
I also know that ED scars in my brain have left me with a healthy case of dysmorphia. So, even if I’m feeling large and fat, I try to give more credence to what an outside observer says. I may not believe them, but I leave open the possibility that my perspective of my body may be off. I also know that I can and will drive myself crazy thinking about me being “oafish.” So I don’t let myself think that way often.
So, the short answer, Yes, I often wish that I were shorter and smaller. Long answer, I’m working on it…and I have times when I love rocking out heels and being over 6-ft tall.
And now, after being incredibly honest and vulnerable…it’s time for a glass of wine and bed.
A public defender super heroine by day, I am a cupcake baker extraordinaire by night. And come weekend, I am an IronPerson. I deal with an NPR addiction daily and I dream of one day having Carl Kasell on my answering machine. I strive to be the best fur-mommy I can be, and when I have time, I'm learning to be a grownup.
26 Responses for "talkin’ bout my body, body"
what a beautiful post, pen!
i am almost 5’11″ too and have always felt like a giant next to others, men and women. I have been heavier than i am now before i became a GF soy light raw vegan but have always been lean but it gives a 14 yr old a complex, well it did me, being that much taller than everyone else. I am glad you’re at peace with your body, i am there too. But it took 25-30 yrs to get there
You have no idea how much all of us shorties want to be tall like you!
I’m glad that you have come so far in loving yourself and embracing who you are. You are absolutely GORGEOUS!! Seriously, I think that every time I see a pic of you!!
I agree with @Averie — Such a beautiful post! I just woke up early from a very nasty dream, and this pulled me right out of my funk (or at least halfway….). It’s nice to be reminded of personal strength. And of course I also agree with @homecookedm — You are absolutely gorgeous!!!! I think that every time I see you, too.
Love your honesty. And also, please tell me which store you went to so I can kick that worker’s a$$. WHO SAYSSS THAT? Anyways, I’m glad you see your body as the body that has gotten you through marathons, half marathons, and tris. I could never picture my midget body doing all that training! You are seriously “all that and a bag of chips” (sooo 90s)!! I still struggle with weight and body issues DAILY but I try to snap out of it. I think we’ll ALWAYS have those negative thoughts…but we just have to be strong enough to not let them win.
I always wanted to be petite and small too, I would love to rock 4 inch heels every day and not over 6 feet tall. Great post though, and that convenience store worker is obvi an idiot.
thank you for the honesty! i will echo the others in saying that you look absolutely gorgeous to me!
i feel like it’s the norm rather than the exception in these times that women go through some sort of body image angst — at least in the blog world where people are honest about it! like you, though, i have outgrown major issues but still have my days. at 5’1″, instead of feeling too tall, i can feel short and stubby . . . while other times i feel petite, fit and curvy and pretty happy with myself! same body: different mindset! (the right outfit helps too . . .)
Great post, love the honesty because of course I’ve dealt with similar issues. I’m going to agree with everyone above and say that you are gorgeous!
I’m a shorty who always wished I was taller. I do think that the body image stuff gets… maybe not easier with age… but I think we get more perspective on what’s really important in life. Thanks for sharing this with us.
I surprise people when I say I’m a fan of running and races. When they say, “oh, I wouldn’t have thought you were into running”, I immediately respond with, “why?” It leaves them flabergasted usually. I at least get satisfaction out of that.
I would love to be your height in all honesty! I come from a tall family and am the short one at a little over 5’7. It’d be nice to get a few more inches!
Coupla things: you are incredible for being so honest and still funny as all get out. Triple thumbs up to you for getting in a healthier spot, being able to look back at it with perspective and articulate your feelings. That said, I saw your race pictures, and unless you are hiding 50 pounds of ankle fat somewhere, you look incredibly fit and strong and like a runner! And a future Iron-androgynous-being. The fact that you can pound out long bike rides at 19 mph is something that some of us little folk can only dream of. Amazing!
I’ve gotten the “don’t look like a runner” thing many times. Though to be honest, I sometimes probably read that INTO what people say to me. So in other words, I relate with a lot of this.
Except I’m a fricking midget at barely 5’2″. Yet I probably outweigh most runners a few inches taller than me. Most people tend to guess I weigh about 10-15 pounds less than I actually do, but the fact is I’m probably have to lose a limb to be at my ideal “racing weight” based on a lot of chart’s I’ve seen. (If you missed it, I talked about the one that irked me the most here. And for years, particularly when I wasn’t running a whole lot, I kind of judged myself against other competitive runners. Or whatnot. While I’ve gotten a lot better at dealing with this kind of thing, its hard not to fall into the trap when I hear/see girls who are faster than me/around my pace complaining about weighing 10 pounds less than me. Because, well, I’m 5’2″. And I *don’t* look like them – my frame just isn’t that small.
But really, how many runners really *are* built like twigs? Even when you get to the professional ranks, there are PLENTY who don’t. I think the stereotype sticks with people though…so if you’re at all muscular? I don’t know. People are stupid. ;p
I don’t know where I’m going with this other than I totally get your frustration. I also get coming to terms with it. Or trying. Or how its hard to ever completely let go of the “wait…what?” feeling you get when you get that kind of reaction.
I think that you look long & lean, so I took what the cashier said to mean that you don’t look big & muscular enough to run a marathon.
One great thing about being tall is that it weeds out a lot of men.
I actually laugh now when men tell me that I’m tall, because it’s like duh, I know!
heyyyoooo! did anyone ever try to get you to play basketball? did you play basketball? i don’t remember if i know that or not. 5’10″! i had no idea you were that tall. my bro is a runner who TOWERS over all the other runners he does track with, but he TEARS up the track and kicks some booty. i love watching him run. for some reason tall people always end up playing bball and volleyball and i don’t see a lot of tall tall track runners. i think you can be ANY shape or size and run ANY distance. that’s what is kind of incredible about running. and hey- serious kudos to you for being so honest and open. i know a lot of us can relate and also learn from your experience. you are a talented runner and a great writer and i’m super proud to be a reader of your blog
xoxo
well i was 5’9″ in 5th grade. and have only grown 2 inches since then. but i wasn’t gangly, i was decently sized. but that meant that i was a LOT bigger than all my friends. clearly not the most comfortable situation for a 10 year old heading into middle school. luckily i’m (for the most part) comfortable with my body and totally embrace my height
and great post. it was awesome to read
Great post! Thank you for sharing your honest answer. It too still struggle with viewing my body as it really is. On the flip side, I’m super short and would have loved to have been even just a wee bit taller. Although, at this point in my life I only want to be taller so I can reach things in my kitchen. =)
This is awesome Pen! I am glad you are starting to see yourself for the beautiful one you are! It is funny because I feel like we are always wishing for what we don’t have. I always wanted to be taller, or have green eyes, or skinnier legs, or yada yada yada…yet if I had all of those things I would probably be wishing for what I have now. The grass always seems greener yet it isn’t. One of my best friends gave me great advice once. I was complaining that I wished I had some “phyiscal trait” of someone else and her response was but would you trade YOUR life to have hers to look like her. I thought about it…would I trade Keith, my job, may family, etc. to look like her? No. I wouldn’t. Everytime I get down about myself I always remember that.
Okay that cashier, wha the what? Who says something like that? Lord! I think your gorge and that you have an amazing physique and are amazing for being able to accomplish all that you can. This post was honest, open, and heart-felt. Awesome!
when I was about 10lbs lighter my MIL (mother in law) made a comment how I was looking more like a runner…. um what I didn’t look like one before? I’ve always been a bit sensitive about the weight thing… I went through a heavy period when I was in elementary school and my older brother’s friends were so mean about it.
But I’m much better now with my weight. Yes would love to get those 10lbs off that I put on…. but I have great respect for my body and the amazing things I have accomplished with it! I have come to appreciate my thick, non-runner looking legs.
Oh Pen, thanks for this post… we have a ridiculous amount in common on this front. The more time goes on the more I like the motto “fake it ’til you make it,” i.e. project an outward aura of body confidence/avoid putting yourself down, and eventually it gets a little bit easier to believe it. Incidentally, my first reaction from seeing pictures of you (not the race pictures but still) was that you had lovely, perfectly shaped eyebrows- the things we crazy-making women notice about ourselves are so different than what other people notice!
Beautiful post!!! I know we all struggle with our bodies–to say we love all bits of it at all times would be a lie–and probably really unhealthy, too!
Now I love my body because it’s MY body! IT’s me! And it took women like you to show me that!
I think you are beautiful! One of my goals this year is to be more self confident and less critical of my body. So far, I can say I have improved over last year. I found out about OperationBeautiful.com which I think is an absolutely wonderful idea, so I like to pass it on. Have a wonderful week! You look like a marathoner to me… at least how I hope I’ll look when I run my first marathon next year!
Thank you so much for this post. Having struggled with disordered eating all over the spectrum from anorexia to ‘exercise bulimia/addiction’ to overeating, I would’ve been totally thrown for a loop by that cashier’s misguided and ridiculous comment, too. You sure look like a lean, fit, and svelte runner to me.
By the way — if you ever get bored with tri-ing and running, you should take up ROWING! The diehard endurance addict mentality of rowers would be right up your alley. And they would DROOL over your height (I’m 5’9 and spent my college rowing years wishing wishing wishing I could just grow 2 more inches!) Seriously. If you ever get the opportunity, do consider it.
I’ve definitely felt that way too. I’m 5’7 which isn’t that tall, but all my life I’ve felt like I wanted to be smaller.
I think you absolutely look like a runner.
Seems like you’ve gotten a pretty good handle on it all but comments like the idiot at the store are always a bit rattling. People do not think before they talk and although she probably meant it in an innocent way, comments can be interpreted so differently.
Anyways, youre doing great and I can’t wait to get to a place where I even feel ‘okay’ with my bod.
Whooooa. Homegirl did not go there. I seriously said out loud while reading, “That is bullsh*t!” Sometimes the things people say just leave me in amazement. Thank you for being so honest here and talking about your struggles – we all have them in this life, and most women would admit they have them with their bodies at some point. For the record, I think you’re gorgeous and no doubt strong (in body and mind) no matter how tall you are or if you rock some curves. I am a shorty with a bootylicious bump training to run my first half! So take that cashier woman!!
Ok, stepping off my soap box now
Wow this is a great post.
I think you’re beautiful, and you look like a runner to me!
I feel like everyone has body issues of some sort. Its unfortunate, but that’s the world we live in. Its great you’ve learned to accept yourself. I have trouble with that too still. Its a long process I guess eh?
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